My Testimony. How God saved me from being a miserable wine mom.

I believe the devil wants us to hide our testimony.

I believe that God wants us to share it! I believe the devil wants us to be ashamed of what God has saved us from.

I believe the devil wants us to worry what people will think about us if we share "our dirty laundry".

I believe that God wants us to show how we were saved, who saved us and what we were saved from!I am not afraid of what anyone thinks and you shouldn't be either.

If my testimony about how God saved me from the devils fog of lies and sadness inspires anyone to seek the Lord and his promises of love and redemption it is worth it.

It is worth every side eye, every muffled whisper, and every waggling tongue. Besides, that was the old me.

2 Corinthians 5:17 New King James Version (NKJV)

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Each of us have our own reasons for seeking more .

Some of us are seeking to be healed, others to be heard, some to feel and some to stop feeling.

I wanted time to rewind.


When my dad died on Christmas 4 years ago. It wasn’t planned. Death rarely ever is. I had just spoken to him on the phone. We had just left my in-laws Christmas party. We had stopped through some neighborhoods to show our kids some lights on the way home. I called my parents to say hello and check in with them on how their Christmas was going. They were watching the sound of music and snuggled in cozy for a warm comfy night. We talked all the way home. I had to let them go when I pulled into the driveway so we could carry the kids inside, they were 3 and 2. We got our youngest in bed and the oldest , our daughter, wanted a snack. I sat down on the couch with a bowl of crackers and turned on a cartoon. My phone rings, it's my mom. She was in a panic. She told me she had to call the ambulance for Dad and she couldn’t get a hold of my sister to tell her. She needed me to come as soon as I could. He stopped breathing. I told my husband I had to go right away. He thought it would be just like every time. Dad would go into the hospital and back out a few days later. That wasn't the case. I got to my moms after the ambulance did. The EMT's were quiet. It was like they were afraid to say something. I saw my dad on the stretcher. Lifeless. My heart fell into the pit of my stomach. They were trying to find the easiest way to get the stretcher out of the house, but did not have enough people to do it as my dad was a hefty man. I jumped in and helped them maneuver the stretcher with my father in it, out into the snow. This wasn’t the greatest place to do it as we had gotten a lot of snow and their dogs used that part of the yard as their bathroom. In a span of 30 minutes I went from sitting on a warm couch with my 3 year old eating crackers to helping strangers carry my lifeless father through dog poop and snow as fast as we could. We were trying to save what was left of his life. I bent down and kissed his forehead. It was then, that I knew he was gone.I'm still grateful for our last conversation. I got to tell him I loved him before we hung up. Life changes and it changes fast. I sought a band-aid to cover a wound that would not heal.



The devil saw that as an opportunity to wedge his way into my world with the promise of relief via alcohol. It started with a few glasses of wine. After all, I earned it right? I cleaned my house all day, I took care of my kids all day! I was going through a hard time right? I made meals all day for my husband and kids. I made sure they were well fed, watered, pampered, and happy. At night, I would “reward myself” with a glass of wine. The relaxing buzzing feeling made me feel accomplished. I would kick my feet up and watch TV and tell myself, Ahhhhhh. This is the life. But was it? Day after day I would go through the motions of my life, and I would look forward to that sweet relief at night. My family was taken care of. I would head to my fridge, grab my BOX OF WINE and pour me a glass. After awhile a glass would not do. I needed two glasses to make me feel the sweet relief I used to feel with one. This progressed for years. At times I would feel so lonely and hurting I would sit on the floor of my basement , in silence and drink myself into a stupor. Ohhh how the devil must have been smiling. He had told me lie after lie and I had swallowed up each and everyone one of them. I sat on the floor of my basement while my family slept peacefully in their beds, no one knew I was a wreck. I hid my torment well. No one suspects the jolly mom who smiles and laughs all day. The one whose hair is always done and make up is always on. No one suspects the woman who makes meal after meal, keeps a clean home, and has an open ear for everyone. No one thinks of people like that as a tormented at night by the lies and mocking of the Devil and his box of wine. What started as harmless relief had quickly turned into a disease. Just as with the first lie spoken to Eve, “You would not surely die?” ...He whispered to me.


Genesis 3 New King James Version (NKJV) T

The Temptation and Fall of Man 3 Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ” 4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”



The enemy whispered to me in my darkest hours. Saying I deserved this wine as a treat after a long day. I would smile and nod and pour my glass after glass. I was a "wine mom". We see the propaganda everywhere now. From gifs of women drinking out of massive wine glasses, to cute shirts, to wine bottles with built in wine glasses. I have learned to pull away from anything this world is trying to push on us. I was a closet wine mom for years. I sat in darkness, crying to myself a lot of nights. Sometimes I had drank too much I was sure I was going to die. Other nights I would find myself trying to remember how to walk up my own stairs. All the while the enemy sat smug. Happy his plan was working. I used to fear running out of wine. I used to plan my glasses to last me the week. I needed my “Me” time. I was no longer in control, the alcohol was. I was depressed and didn't even know it. I was self medicating with wine. Guess what? It didn't work. I still had my empty hole nagging me. The devil loves to talk you into things then once he has you trapped he likes to flip the tables on you then torture you with the very same behavior he talked you into. But you know what? He didn’t win and he won’t win. John 16:33 ESV“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”



We are not alone in our trials just as Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego were not alone in the fire! God was not there to put out the fire, but to protect them while they were in the fire just as he can protect us if we ask for him too! Just as in the bible story with Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego, I was not alone.When I look back, Jesus was there. I was never alone, the devil would tell me I was. He blinded me from seeing my heavenly father's presence. From feeling God’s protective arms around me. His daughter. He was pulling for me. Cheering me on. Fanning away the fog. I see now he was there the whole time. God is more than a bumper sticker. He is more than a song on a radio. He is more than pictures we share on social media. He is more than our human minds can comprehend.He is indeed the “Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace” as stated in Isaiah 9:6.


He has been Wonderful to me! He has counseled me!He has been mightier than the devil!He is my Everlasting Father and continues to hold on to me, and he is the Prince of Peace for he has brought me peace.

God is more than a bumper sticker. He is more than a song on a radio. He is more than pictures we share on social media. He is more than our human minds can comprehend. When my dad died on Christmas 4 years ago. It wasn’t planned. Death rarely ever is. I had just spoken to him on the phone. We had just left my in-laws Christmas party. We had stopped through some neighborhoods to show our kids some lights on the way home. I called my parents to say hello and check in with them on how their Christmas was going. They were watching the sound of music and snuggled in cozy for a warm comfy night. We talked all the way home. I had to let them go when I pulled into the driveway so we could carry the kids inside, they were 3 and 2. We got our youngest in bed and the oldest , our daughter, wanted a snack. I sat down on the couch with a bowl of crackers and turned on a cartoon. My phone rings, it's my mom. She was in a panic. She told me she had to call the ambulance for Dad and she couldn’t get a hold of my sister to tell her. She needed me to come as soon as I could. He stopped breathing. I told my husband I had to go right away. He thought it would be just like every time. Dad would go into the hospital and back out a few days later. That wasn't the case. I got to my moms after the ambulance did. The EMT's were quiet. It was like they were afraid to say something. I saw my dad on the stretcher. Lifeless. My heart fell into the pit of my stomach. They were trying to find the easiest way to get the stretcher out of the house, but did not have enough people to do it as my dad was a hefty man. I jumped in and helped them maneuver the stretcher with my father in it, out into the snow. This wasn’t the greatest place to do it as we had gotten a lot of snow and their dogs used that part of the yard as their bathroom. In a span of 30 minutes I went from sitting on a warm couch with my 3 year old eating crackers to helping strangers carry my lifeless father through dog poop and snow as fast as we could. We were trying to save what was left of his life. I bent down and kissed his forehead. It was then, that I knew he was gone.

Life changes and it changes fast. I sought a band-aid to cover a wound that would not heal. The devil saw that as an opportunity to wedge his way into my world with the promise of relief via alcohol. It started with a few glasses of wine. After all, I earned it right? I cleaned my house all day, I took care of my kids all day! I was going through a hard time right? I made meals all day for my husband and kids. I made sure they were well fed, watered, pampered, and happy. At night, I would “reward myself” with a glass of wine. The relaxing buzzing feeling made me feel accomplished. I would kick my feet up and watch TV and tell myself, Ahhhhhh. This is the life. But was it? Day after day I would go through the motions of my life, and I would look forward to that sweet relief at night. My family was taken care of. I would head to my fridge, grab my BOX OF WINE and pour me a glass. After awhile a glass would not do. I needed two glasses to make me feel the sweet relief I used to feel with one. This progressed for years. At times I would feel so lonely and hurting I would sit on the floor of my basement , in silence and drink myself into a stupor. Ohhh how the devil must have been smiling. He had told me lie after lie and I had swallowed up each and everyone one of them. I sat on the floor of my basement while my family slept peacefully in their beds, no one knew I was a wreck. I hid my torment well. No one suspects the jolly mom who smiles and laughs all day. The one whose hair is always done and make up is always on. No one suspects the woman who makes meal after meal, keeps a clean home, and has an open ear for everyone. No one thinks that people like that are being tormented at night by the lies and mocking of the Devil and his box of wine. What started as harmless relief had quickly turned into a disease. He has been Wonderful to me! He has counseled me!He has been mightier than the devil!



I bet you're wondering how I went from drinking a box of wine a week to not a drop and not looking back?One afternoon my empty hole and I were sitting at my coffee table. My husband was at work, and my kids were napping. I sat in my quiet house , in front of my laptop. I had been feeling this thirst inside of me. This thirst I had been trying to quench with anything earthly I could. As if out of nowhere, I just lifted my hands and typed out “Free Bible Studies”. A huge list of bible studies appeared in the search results.. Where should I begin? I applied to all of them, closed my laptop and went to pour myself a glass of wine.7 months later a man appears in my yard. He approached my husband who was working in the yard. He immediately thought OHHHHH Great. What is this person going to try to sell me. The man asked if he had ordered bible studies. My husband said, Nope. Then the man said, well it looks like your wife may have. My husband said that sounded about right! The man left a folder along with some dvd's and bible studies and left. My husband brought them into the house and sat them on the table. When He told me about them I had almost forgotten all about them as 7 months had went by. I remember sitting at the same coffee table , doing a bible study about how wine is a mocker with a glass of wine. I was immediately convicted. What was I doing? I was studying my bible about the mocking nature of wine while sipping on my wine. I knew that was my changing point. A “V8” smack to the forehead.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV- Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.



You see? God's timing is everything. He knows when we are ready to listen. He has not abandoned you just as he has not abandoned me. The devil wants you isolated and dead. He doesn't want us sharing how great God is and how complete you feel when you learn to “die to self” so you can fill up with his love. The devil wants us to worship ourselves. Do whatever makes us happy on this earth. He doesn't want us bettering ourselves for the life we are promised after this Earth!. He wants us so distracted that we have no time to work on our relationship with God . He wants us so arrogant that we find nothing wrong with ourselves to the point we proclaim we don’t need God. I decided that day that I was going to make a change. I was going to put down the Wine, and I was going to feed on the word of God. I prayed day and night that he would make my transition smooth. I ended up getting baptized in October 27, 2018. It was the happiest day of my life. The feeling of renewal. The re-committing of myself to God in a way that signified to me and everyone around me that the old me is dead.



I am reborn. It has taken me a long time to feel comfortable to share my testimony. The enemy had me so afraid of what others might think on various levels. I mean why wouldn't he? Why would he want me to share how I was freed from his grip? How I found the lamp to my feet? How I found the key to freedom ? OF COURSE he wanted me more concerned with my feelings. The more afraid I was to share, the more people suffering from the same thing can remain suffering! Share your testimonies! Let that light shine!Free yourself. Fear is nothing but a feeling that can be changed with perspective.



© 2019 A Christian Gaming Podcast

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